A mistake that I sometimes made was being too economical with my dates. In my country this is common and people take it for granted, so I didn’t realize there was anything wrong. Then, some of my dates told me later that this was one of the reasons why they didn’t want to continue the relationship.

Travel budget

I didn’t understand why they said that, because I spent a lot of money on trips, renting an apartment, hiring an interpreter, dates, restaurants (in which you have to pay for the interpreter’s food at times) and transportation. Maybe this was the reason why I couldn’t pay for many other things. And, since I didn’t know how much the lady wanted or needed, I was careful with my expenses.

Cultural differences

The reason why it sometimes didn’t match was because both my dates and I had different expectations about the costs of a date. This caused misunderstandings due to cultural differences.

Later on, I began to understand why Ukrainian women think like that, as I learned more about their culture. From my experience, Eastern European people are very generous. There was this one lady who, after I got to know her well enough, invited me to have dinner with her family. They had plenty of drinks and food on the table, and made me feel like if I was a part of their family. In everyday life, Ukrainians are attentive and giving, and give presents frequently.

Expectations of Ukrainian women

Because of this, they expect foreigners to do the same or even more, because they are wealthy. That is why some Ukrainian women who date foreign men end up having unrealistic expectations and think that everybody is rich in the West. They don’t understand that you can buy much less with the same amount of money in your country, than what you can buy during a trip to Ukraine. They don’t know that life in the West is much more expensive than in Ukraine.

Be attentive

Both Ukrainian women and foreign men can learn from this. For men, it’s better to be attentive, to show her that you’re interested. You don’t have to shower her with expensive gifts. Even opening a door, giving her a souvenir, or making sure that she gets home safe (even when it’s daytime and she needs to use public transportation), are ways of showing her that you like her and are a courteous person. If you don’t do these things, the romance could end or your dates could be ruined. Of course, using public transportation can be uncomfortable for them, since they have to use it every day and it’s not always safe (or good quality).

Bring her back home safe

In Holland, we don’t use taxis often. Businessmen are the only people that might use them regularly, normal people only do so rarely. For this reason, we might not realize that taking the metro or a bus is something wrong. I always use the metro when I’m in Kiev, because it is a great form of transportation, and back home we don’t have as many as they do in Kiev. Besides, it is expected that you bring the lady back to her home, safe.

Men pay for the bill

You should know that in Ukraine, as a general rule, men pay for the bill on a date. In other countries this might be different, depending on the situation. For example, if he wasn’t the person who invited her, they might split the bill. Still, in Ukraine, the man always pays the bill.

Don't waste your opportunities

I recommend not being too economical with your dates if you don’t want to waste your opportunities. Try to find the middle ground between spoiling a Ukrainian lady and being too economical.

Ronald Jutte



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